You're going to have to excuse me in advance for what's sure to be a very long comment.

I've been thinking so much about the racism around missing person cases and I'm really disheartened by the bias I find within myself, when I dig down deep enough. Allow me to expose my shameful white girl underbelly - to my own horror, when I read about the many missing indigenous girls I became aware of a sort of sense that "it's not surprising. That's the kind of thing that happens to those kinds of people."

Where with Gabby it's a "Oh my god, that could (have) happen(ed) to me!!!!"

Why is that there, this othering of people of a different color and culture? I don't want it to be there, but it's there. Was it cultivated over years of ingesting mainstream media? Would it have existed without media, just due to hind-brain in-group bias and our human proclivity to emphasize visual differences?

I don't even know how to think about it yet.

I did read something about how Gabby is getting so much attention because she posted so much - there's just so much to feed off of - and because of course she's young and cute. I do think that a similar response would happen if Jennelle Eliana (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7TpfdWcmn60) disappeared, simply because she's young, beautiful, and has a social media presence.

I'm fairly sure that if I disappeared, and Jennelle disappeared, more would be made of Jennelle's disappearance, my white girl privilege notwithstanding ;) and, fair enough, I freaking love that girl hahaha

Also, I don't think I'd have the "that's the kind of thing that happens to people like her" response to Jennelle if she disappeared. To me, Jennelle's a "me" type of person, if that makes sense. Is this because I have a much beloved black family member, or because I've steeped myself in reading black narratives in an effort to understand and support him more? or is it because Jennelle presents in a way that seems very familiar to me? Or because we probably belong to a similar socioeconomic class? Or because she camps and films (in the above video) in many of the spots that I myself have camped? I don't know. I just don't know.

Anyway, I first noticed that I was having a lot of feelings about the GP case when I was writing a post about my friend's wedding and, on re-reading it, I was shocked by the misandry that was seeping out from my words. And I realized it was because of the fear and sadness I was feeling around the GP case and feeling threatened and frustrated that in modern American society, so much of our socializing and belonging is supposed to take place within heterosexual romantic relationships, and yet those are the least safe (and often the least emotionally satisfying) relationships for women.

So I'm exploring all of that - the fear, the threat, the misandry - in writing that hasn't solidified into any sort of readable form yet.

Anyway, thank you for your thoughts and encouragement.