You know, a friend of mine is going through what you've described right now - I didn't write about it here because it's her story to tell, and she's writing about it already, and doing a great job.

It was partially her experience that made me want to write this, because it helped me realize that the former narcissists I'd heard about were sort of a "boy who called wolf" situation, such that when this friend started dealing with the real thing, people were somewhat dismissive.

I don't want to make actual sufferers of abuse question themselves. I'd suggest that if a relationship is crazy-making, get out as soon as you can, whether the person is a narcissist or not.

I DO want people to stop using the label when it doesn't apply - we're using it into meaninglessness, such that when someone like my friend really suffer, others dismiss her with a wave of their hand - "oh, yeah, my ex, too."