Yeah. It's not productive in either of the sexes.

The popular manosphere idea is that women will lose attraction for a guy if he's too emotional. There's some truth to that, of course, but it's also true that men will lose attraction for women who are too emotional. In both genders, it's hard to meet self-pity with attraction.

In my last relationship, I had two miscarriages, and I was feeling some emotions about it. My boyfriend had no patience for this. I was less attractive when I was grieving, and I could feel my boyfriend's attraction shriveling up and blowing away.

I very much felt like I was dying "slowly of loneliness, or quickly from the rage of feeling that no cares about them; because they are correct."

Women, too, are punished for feeling too much, regardless of what the narrative says.

We're all people. We all experience this stuff, men and women.

You say "Women have gained freedom, autonomy, independence. Men with enough resilience, luck and self-control to constantly police their boundaries..."

But don't you think women also have to have resilience, luck, and self control to constantly police their boundaries?

And haven't men gained (yourself included) by no longer having the pressure to be the primary breadwinner?

The fact is that bad feelings are unattractive for both sexes. If your strong, independent wife suddenly became a weeping puddle on the floor, and stayed that way for weeks, months, years, would you be hot for her? Probably not.

Feeling your feelings and dealing with them appropriately is attractive. Asking for the support you need, and then picking up the pieces again with assistance from that support is attractive. Acknowledging the difficulty of life, but forging ahead with vision and confidence is attractive. Showing character and not whining is attractive, regardless of your gender.

Anyone who says life is always easy for a privileged white man is smoking something. Life is hard for everyone, mostly in the same ways. Men and women inhabit a venndiagram with a healthy chubby shared middle section, and two exceedingly narrow margins on either side. Mostly, we experience the same shit, because all of us are humans having the human experience.

And yeah, fuck the patriarchy, but let's take the patri out for now, because even if men created it, they're suffering too. So fuck the archy!