This is the fear that kept me from making a definitive choice about having a child. I knew that as the woman, I'd be expected to be the primary caregiver, even if I was partnered, and as a woman in this modern world, I'd also be expected to have a career, and that these two would be just too much.

Now I'm 40, and the option is being taken from me, and I'm making one last try for single motherhood by choice. I just haven't found a man that I trust to be my partner, particularly when it comes to being the father of my child.

But here's my plan: I want to create my own village of single mothers. I'm nomadic - I live in a van, and depending on the temperament of my (possible) future child, I might continue the nomad life, or settle down in a tiny house community. I want to surround myself with single mothers - I want our kids to grow up as honorary cousins. I want us to help each other babysit, do Costco runs, cook, and commiserate.

Our society hasn't given us a village or a good model for creating one. I guess we just have to be creative, swim against the current, and hope for (and labor toward) the best.