I'd add to this list:

Are you capable of stepping outside your own experience and recognizing when your partner is struggling, and then taking steps to be there for her?

This is what finally did it between my ex and I. I'd suffered two miscarriages, and he just couldn't figure out why that bothered me, or why it should be something he cared about. His attitude was more like, 'god, her feelings are annoying and she's less attractive when she's not happy, I'll ignore it and hopefully she gets over it soon.'

I didn't rely on him for money, or any other support - all I wanted was the bare minimum from a romantic partner - emotional support in a situation that he had helped cause.

but nope. he couldn't do that.

And then he had the audacity to be surprised and angry when I left his ass.