I think so much of the bluster you read online is more about anger and hurt and fear than actually reveling in hurting men's feelings, but then, I can only see the world from inside my own head.

It's so funny, because I'm actually writing about all of these things right now based on a conversation I ahd with my nephew. I used to think men were invulnerable, but now watching my teen nephews is kind of humanizing men for me. It's quite the eye-opener.

Funny because I also want to write about the thing you describe as "I'm interested in you, but more in him," which I see more as a, "Whoa, what? You like me? But that other guy just told me he liked me. You want me to make a decision now? But I haven't even thought about it and I barely know either of you. I mean you seem great so far, really, you're great (I don't want to reject someone outright before knowing him well) and I genuinely might want to date you. Can you wait a bit while I collect my thoughts?" which too often leads to either, "Whoa, now I'm a bitch?" or "Wait, how exactly did I lead you on?"

God I'm so glad I'm 40, just remembering to write the above made me start to feel anxious! Now, men's advances are coming at a manageable clip. Love it!