I read this while smack dab in the middle of my two week wait (or TWW for people familiar with fertility lingo - it's the 2 weeks between ovulation/insemination and either the bloody evidence of your next period, or miracle of miracles! a positive pregnancy test). I went the route you mentioned here but chose not to take - when things didn't work out with my partner, I found myself a sperm donor. This is the second month I've syringed his sperm into myself. I'm 39. Already 2 miscarriages deep and diagnosed with stage 4 endometriosis. It very well may not work.

Whatever happens, I'm so grateful to read work from women like you. In a culture that defines womanhood by motherhood, we need to hear more from the wild, happy, free, thoughtful, smart, kind women who chose not to become mothers. Thank you, thank you thank you.

tomorrow I'll take a pregnancy test (at 8dpo - days past ovulation - it'll still be too early, but I can't seem to help myself) and the next day and the next day and the next day. If they're negative, I'll try again next month. And if it doesn't work, I'll take comfort in knowing that I have an example - in you! - of what I can be without children. So thank you, again.