Hey there James,

I promise we women also often feel completely inept when it comes to relationships. I had a wild crush on a co-worker this summer, I let him know, and he was really sweet about it in the moment, but now my text messages sit in his inbox, unanswered.

I think when you've been on the recieving end of rejection, it's really easy to feel like things are stacked against your entire gender. But I promise both men and women struggle - maybe in slightly different ways - but there's so much struggle for all of us.

One thing I've learned for myself - if I'm romantically attracted to someone, and he doesn't have that feeling for me, I really have to pay attention to whether I can be an actual friend to that person. Sometimes I think, "Yeah, I can get past my romantic feelings and just be his friend," and that's when I know I genuinely like the guy for who he actually is. Most times, though, it's painful for me to try to have a friendship with a guy when I want something more. That's when I know that I probably like the idea of him more than his actual personality. In those instances, I show myself out. Why torture yourself? And why try to remain friends when I'm really kind of objectifying him? How can I be a good friend when I want something he doesn't want to give me?

Anyway, hugs to you, it all sounds pretty difficult, and I hope you find someone who returns your affections - romantically.