Hey, sorry, my response was a bit knee-jerky.

I happen to be of the opinion that men are suffering just as badly from gender strictures as women are, and, despite my own misandry (so many bad experiences will do that to a girl) I would like to help be part of the solution - but not being a man, I need guidance from you guys for how to be a good advocate.

In the above reaction, I was responding to your assertion that "we grow up lacking connections at all." Which SUCKS, it's terrible, and it's not fair to you guys, but sort of like women fighting for the right to vote and the right to work etc, you guys do have to fight for yourselves. And in this case, this one is easier than fighting for voting or working rights, I think. Because your lack of connection isn't imposed by an external force - it's self-imposed due to societal influence (in contrast to women not being able to vote or work - that was imposed by the people in power, eg, men).

The only ones who can change men's lack of connection are you guys. YOU have to step outside the bounds of social gender strictures and bulid connections with other men. It'll be scary, but the only one who can do that work is you.

So many men rely on the women (or, more commonly, one woman) in their lives to build social connection for them. The burden is heavy for women. Building connection is a skill, and it takes time and effort to learn, and it takes ongoing effort to maintain those connections. Women start working on this skill early, but men, in my opinion, aren't encouraged to.

So knowing that, you've got to go out and get that skill. Read books, listen to podcasts, and go out to meet ups or embrace new hobbies or take classes or volunteer to meet the people (men, not women) you can practice with. And put a little more effort into the relationships you do have - ask your buddy how he feels about losing his job, be there when another is going through divorce, etc etc.

Does that make any sense? I'm a little short on time so writing this fast.

Anyway, you say men are trying to be heard - yes - it takes a lot of that. Think of the women who were laughed at and criticized and even when to prison for the right to vote. Think of the women who work in male-dominated industries and had to, for years, put up with sexual harrassment and bullshit - and STILL have to put up with it even after #MeToo (see my writing on how I lost a job after supporting a coworker who'd been raped by another coworker). It takes years of trying to be heard to get heard. But you're the only ones who can speak up and say what you need, and then, make it happen. You'll have allies but the bulk will be up to you.